ACT through challenges

Embracing life changes with courage and hope

Douglass P. Teschner

“It’s a shallow life that doesn’t give a person a few scars.” — Garrison Keillor Change is a fundamental aspect of growing as a person, but sometimes it can be pretty difficult. I love the cartoon of a man at a podium asking, “Who wants change?” with the assembled crowd enthusiastically raising their hands in response. But when the speaker asks, “Who wants to change?” they quietly look down at their feet. We are all creatures of habit, but sometimes life imposes changes whether we like it or not.

Health issues are one example. I have written before about my stroke last October which luckily was not too serious.

Then I fell down on my head descending a NH State House stairway I had been down many times before. Was that stroke-related, or was I just being careless? And, for sure, I am getting older so that is another life change — and challenge.

Now I have a pinched nerve in my leg affecting sleep and have been doing physical therapy and awaiting MRI results. I cancelled my volunteer naturalist talks at the Appalachian Mountain Club’s Lake of the Clouds Hut on Mount Washington and wonder what the future holds for my hiking and more. Sometimes I feel fragile, but my therapist, Kristen, reminds me to be patient, observing that the healthiest people can sometimes be the most anxious.

I began zooming with Kristen six years ago when knee replacement medication led to some unpleasant anxiety. I have come to believe that everyone should have a therapist and find it unfortunate that there is so much stigma related to mental health.

Another big change is family moving out of my town and going overseas. I miss them, but at least we have Zoom. And I am sure to make a trip to Morocco where I lived for five years, starting with Peace Corps service in the early 1970s.

I worry, too, about our country in ways that sometimes generate feelings of despair. Will my children, grandchildren and future generations enjoy the benefits of this country like I have? Our nation faces many challenges including the national debt, inflation, economic disparities, the high cost of housing and child care, and uncertainty about the expanding role of artificial intelligence.

But we will never solve any of these problems unless we can find ways to talk to each other with respect. This is why l volunteer with the national organization Braver Angels that promotes courageous citizenship and why, too, I coauthored the book “Beyond the Politics of Contempt” and host the “Together Across Differences” substack newsletter.

Despite these efforts, the nation’s polarization is not changing for the better. Kristen reminds me that this work is meaningful, and I should be realistic about what I can control. Don’t underestimate how you touch others or fail to ask if what you are doing is helpful, truthful and kind, she adds — so, keep at it and give yourself grace.

I am grateful that Kristen suggested patience to work through these hard moments this summer. She also mentioned Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, including (A) accept your thoughts and feelings, (C) connect with your values and (T) take effective action. That sounds like a good road map for a meaningful life, including how to negotiate work challenges. Start with understanding what is bothering you; it can be easy to get distracted by tangential issues, so take time to drill down to what is at the source.

Connecting with your values has long been a key theme in my life, and I wrote a chapter about it in our book. Courage and hope are two important values for me that are meaningful in this present time. What among your values helps you manage challenging situations? Taking action follows more easily once we identify thoughts and feelings and then apply our values.

Business leaders face additional challenges — from staffing issues to cash flow and everything in between — that can often seem overwhelming. But applying these same principles can make life a little easier and work more productive, too.

We each have an extraordinary opportunity to make a difference in people’s lives, including our own. Don’t underestimate your impact!

Douglass P. Teschner, founder of Growing Leadership LLC, and author of “Beyond the Politics of Contempt: Practical Steps to Build Positive Relationships in Divided Times,” can be reached at dteschner@GrowingLeadershipLLC.com.