Making the best of a hospital stay

I’m writing this from my hospital bed in Boston. I’ll spare you the details of how I got here and what is wrong; I’d rather tell you what I’m learning.

Another patient in a holding area for a CT scan asked, “Who are you, a movie star, a politician, a millionaire, a VIP of some sort? Why is everyone doing so much for you? Why are they so eager to help you?”

“Well, I’m nice to them, so they’re nice to me.”

“No, it can’t be just that.”

So, I went on to explain that a lot of people have unlikable personalities. When they get sick, they become even worse. Taking care of sick people is no fun. Health care workers are often abused by the very people they’re trying to help. I try to do whatever I can to brighten their day, even entertain them. It usually makes me their favorite patient.

He didn’t like that answer at all. I don’t know his name, so let’s call him Grumpy. I think it’s safe to assume the name is appropriate, as I’d seen him scolding people for nothing.

I know it’s an oversimplification, but I think there are basically two types of people in the world: the producers and consumers.

The producers are always trying to contribute to making the world around them better in some way. They are helpful, cordial and humble. They care about the people around them.

The consumers, on the other hand, are only interested in themselves. They view the people around them as tools to get what they want or obstacles to get out of the way. If they help anyone, it’s only to get something in return.

Of course, there’s a little bit of producer and consumer in all of us, but which is most dominant?

Regardless of which type we are, most of us would rather deal with producers than consumers because they are usually far more likable. Admittedly, they’re easier to take advantage of, but the winning combination is when both are eager to help each other without expecting anything in return.

When the ambulance first delivered me to the emergency room, I wasn’t comfortable on that stretcher. Regardless, I was nice and helpful to everyone. I never complained about it, but shortly afterward a hospital bed showed up, and they transferred me to it while everyone wondered why I was so special.

I was completely amazed, as I never expected anything like that. I had shown some interest in my nurse as a person. She was amazed with this patient who was interested in how she was doing instead of just being interested in himself.

When people are mistreating you and someone treats you well, who would you rather help in return? It’s simple logic, and it works everywhere.

One day I had five doctors and four nurses in my room. I thanked them for coming and said, “If I had known, I would have ordered drinks and hors d’oeuvres for you.” They thought that was great and started eagerly trying to help me.

Being nice to people without expecting anything in return is one of the secrets to true happiness. We feel better after helping someone. A giving person is usually much happier than a taking person. It’s difficult to make someone else happy without feeling happier yourself.

OK, so you’re not in the hospital; you’re at work, and you really need to improve performance. How do you get people to respond?

One day, I was walking with the CEO of a local company. We came to a door where someone was struggling to get a load through. I helped him while the CEO watched. After we were out of earshot, he let into me. “Listen, I pay you a lot more than I pay him. I don’t ever want to see you waiting for someone like him again.”

I responded, “You hired me to improve performance. The process changes I make help a lot, but we also have to get our people working better. That guy will bust his hump for me for the rest of the afternoon because I made him feel important. He won’t do anything for you.”

The CEO was stunned. He didn’t know what to say. We can never lose by making people feel important, by treating them with respect.

Ronald J. Bourque, a consultant and speaker from Salem, has had engagements throughout the United States, Europe and Asia. He can be reached at 603-898-1871 or RonBourque3@gmail.com.