Ask the Experts: Understanding assisted living

As families navigate life after retirement, a change in scenery or in housing may be in order. Our panelist addresses common myths, warning signs and the emotional decisions surrounding a move. She explains how assisted living can preserve independence, strengthen safety and create opportunities for healthier, more connected living.

Panelist: Amy Howland, executive director, John H. Whitaker Place, whitakerplace.org

What is assisted living?

Assisted living is designed for individuals who want to maintain their independence while having access to supportive residential care. Support may include assistance with daily activities, meal preparation, medication assistance, housekeeping and social engagement opportunities within a home-like environment.

What myths about assisted living need to be reexamined?

Many believe that assisted living is for people who are ill or unable to be independent. In reality, most people living in assisted living are active, social and are seeking a maintenance-free lifestyle. The truth is, assisted living supports independence — it does not take it away.

When does a home become a responsibility and not freedom?

A home represents freedom when it provides us with a sense of security, independence and joy. When the emotional, financial or physical burden outweighs those benefits, it becomes a responsibility. If a home gives you more options, it’s freedom. If it narrows those options, it’s a responsibility and may be time to reassess.

Are we protecting independence or postponing an uncomfortable conversation?

Avoiding the topic may feel respectful to you or your loved one, but it can also delay a proactive approach that would support independence. Many seniors are living alone and are unsafe due to the difficult conversations we are too timid to bring to their attention. Difficult conversations, when handled early, can prevent unsafe living situations and crisis-driven choices.

Independence versus isolation?

True independence includes having a support system in place, not navigating alone. Isolation is not independence. Assisted living offers community, safety and connection while preserving one’s independence.

Are there nutritional benefits for assisted living?

Assisted living communities can offer meaningful nutritional benefits, especially for older adults who may struggle with grocery shopping, cooking or maintaining a balanced diet at home. Assisted living provides balanced, dietitian-approved meals, a regular meal schedule, improved protein intake, better hydration, social dining benefits, monitoring and early prevention. Good nutrition in assisted living can help maintain a healthy weight, preserve muscle mass, support brain health, strengthen immunity, improve energy levels and reduce hospitalizations.

Are we waiting for a sign even though the signs are already there?

Indicators that additional support may be needed and would be beneficial for you or your loved one are memory changes, missed appointments, diminished driving skills or confidence, depression, difficult mobility and less social engagement.

Why does waiting too long sometimes limit choices and options?

Not only is it difficult to find a location, but the toll of emotional and physical isolation can be detrimental. It can also put a strain on relationships with family members when we wait for a crisis to take action. When in crisis, there are fewer options to make your own choices; a fall, hospitalization or medical event forces a rushed move and decision. The decision is then made under stress, and the adjustment is harder because your health has already declined. Many people say they wish they had moved sooner.

If assisted living could add years of safer, more engaged living, is “too early” really a risk?

Assisted living can add years of safer, more socially engaged and less stressful living. Waiting can actually carry the greater risk, and we see that in the assisted living industry. The positives are YOU participate in the decision, YOU build friendships before a crisis, and YOU adapt while cognitively and physically stronger. The move feels proactive — not reactive! A proactive move feels empowering! So many are not proactive and tend to be more reactive and bypass the wonderful level of assisted living and need long-term care.