Master Leadership: Managing your energy

The leadership skill no one talks about

I was out for dinner recently in an open-kitchen restaurant. The restaurant wasn’t too busy and the kitchen staff was having fun doing their work; it was obvious from their body language, laughing and energy. The head chef appeared around the corner, clearly in a mood, scowl on his face, piercing eyes and angry energy. He immediately chewed out the wait staff for something, then turned his anger to the kitchen staff who were no longer smiling and having fun. After a few terse words, the staff scattered, didn’t make eye contact, and visibly avoided the chef and his surrounding area. It’s like the air came out of the balloon, even an observer could feel it. To the visible eye, the work was still getting done, but underneath something more important occurred — the energy shifted.

When I start coaching leaders, most focus on what they do and say. Far fewer pay attention to how they show up, the energy they bring into the room and how much that matters.

Energy is contagious. Calm creates clarity.

Urgency creates pressure. Frustration creates hesitation. Your team reads subtle cues like tone, pace, posture and adjusts in real time. At an unconscious level their nervous system is reading yours; if you’re dysregulated, they can feel it; you don’t need to say a word.

In high-pressure environments with tight resources, aggressive goals and stretched leaders, this effect intensifies. One reactive leader can quietly dampen creativity, innovation and engagement across an entire organization, shaping how people think, contribute and whether they bring their best.

Time management, strategic thinking and clear communication are standard leadership topics. Energy management rarely makes the list, yet it underpins them all.

Leaders who can’t regulate their own internal state eventually struggle to lead others. Under stress, decision-making narrows, communication sharpens and presence fades. Even the best strategies can fall flat in the hands of a dysregulated leader. Managing your energy isn’t about pretending everything is fine or avoiding pressure; it’s about being intentional so it doesn’t end up managing you.

Leadership comes with constant visibility.

In meetings or in passing, people are watching how you handle pressure, uncertainty and setbacks. This doesn’t require perfection, it requires awareness.

A leader who pauses and recognizes, “I’m still carrying that frustration,” is far more effective than one who brings it into the next conversation. The difference isn’t the circumstance, it’s the reset.

This is where a concept not often talked about in business becomes incredibly practical: nervous system regulation. Under pressure, your body shifts into a protective state: faster thinking, quicker reactions, narrower focus. That response is helpful in short bursts (think crisis mode), but it becomes limiting when it turns into your default. Many leaders are operating in this activated state without even realizing it.

When operating from chronic activation, leaders often: react more quickly than intended; struggle to access creative or big-picture thinking; experience decision fatigue sooner; have reduced capacity for nuanced, empathetic conversations.

A regulated nervous system supports clarity, perspective and intentional action. Leadership effectiveness isn’t only cognitive; it’s embodied.

Here are four practices to try:

Pause before the next interaction. Take 30–60 seconds. Close your door, step outside or simply sit. This brief reset prevents carrying old energy forward.

Use your breath as a tool. Try a slow inhale for four counts, then an exhale for six. The longer exhale signals your nervous system it’s safe to downshift. Do this three times.

Notice and name your state. A quick internal check, “I’m feeling rushed and frustrated,” can loosen its grip and restore choice. Saying it to a trusted colleague can deepen the shift.

Set a clear intention for the next room. Ask yourself: “How do I want to show up for this?” and intentionally do that. Keeping a small sticky note like “calm, cool, curious” can be a simple reminder.

These micro-interventions take little time, yet their impact compounds quickly.

Leaders who master their energy create measurable advantages: improved psychological safety; clearer, faster communication; better decisions as reactivity drops; and lower stress, improving retention and performance.

The most effective leaders aren’t the ones who push hardest or move fastest; they’re the ones who stay grounded. They create the kind of environment I felt in that kitchen before the chef walked in, where people are engaged, connected and having fun. When leaders manage their energy, teams think more clearly, collaborate easily and give more discretionary effort. Work feels lighter, relationships strengthen and performance follows. Your leadership is a mirror of your energy, so create the energy you want to see.

Kristi Baxter is an executive and leadership coach who partners with organizations and individuals to build clarity and confidence, lead with grounded authority, and unleash the best in themselves and their teams. She can be reached at kb@kristibaxter.com